Tag: uganda

On Being Authentic

I read an article the other day on one of my Facebook groups of expats in Kampala. It was titled something like “The Fraud of Facebook” and went on to tell of a twenty something girl’s summer experience in Uganda. How fraudulent FB was because all she posted was the good times she was having, but not the loneliness and despair she felt after the pic was taken, when she was alone in her room. How she would post pics of her and other Ugandan women dressed in her African clothes but then would eat dinner alone. How she was used for money, proposed to because she was perceived as a wealthy white girl and a ticket of America. Exploited, attempted to be mugged, cheated on prices. At the very end she concluded that maybe FB wasn’t the fraud, maybe it was her own doing because she didn’t post all the struggles and challenges along with the good. Which is the truth. Many of us are frauds when it comes to social media – only posting the highlights of our life, even exaggerating that, but then there are those who use it to post every woe in their lives or to cause turmoil and pain. I have mixed feelings about social media, I get “friended” every week and hit ignore. My purpose in it is to have contact with my close friends and family that live all over, even when I lived in the states we were all separated. Acquaintances and people I don’t even know would ask why I ignore their friend request. I’ve even unfriended people who I felt were just voyeurs, just wanting to have something to talk about when they don’t even really know me. Social media and facebook friends do not necessarily make a relationship.My Mother-in-Law despises FB, too many things are posted without thought to others. I say that isn’t a FB problem, that is a problem of the heart. We are actually pretty private people. If you live next door, in my town and want to be my friend…call me. Let’s do lunch.

All that being said, I understand why the girl was hesitant to put the challenges and struggles out there. The comments after her story were some positive but many from the Ugandan community were pretty ugly. They started saying not every experience or every person in Uganda was like what she experienced. They aren’t but she was only expressing her experience. They also can’t comprehend what a foreigner – especially ones that are perceived automatically to be rich – goes through when in a totally different culture than their own. We have experienced everything that girl experienced. It is lonely, you do feel isolated at times. It has taken us a year and a half to finally feel we have some Ugandan friends. It is not easy, and it would not be easy for them to visit our country either. They would face many of the same things.

I am at times hesitant to tell of all of our struggles. Some are just not anybody’s business. The struggles I have with my husband are private. We are flawed, we’ve been married a long time and we will have disagreements. He has stated he will leave the toilet seat up if he wants to and I have to deal with falling in the cold water in the middle of the night. He lifts it – I can lower it, who’s right and who’s wrong? It’s his right to not do it. But if I post every argument or every thing that drives me crazy, it may color your view and prevent you from seeing the awesome Godly man and husband and father he is. Or I would get emails and prayers for our marriage, encouragement on staying together! And we would be much better served with prayers in other areas. (Even though God knows where the prayers should go!) That is why when I write I try to balance the positive with the negative – I don’t want others thinking negative about a country that has many positive, wonderful people and experiences.

Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation? Hebrews 1:14

I try to post honestly, the craziness and all. I pray that more than anything you can laugh along with us over the little things and rejoice in the things God is doing. I don’t tell about the days I lock my bedroom door, put headphones on and search cheap flights to anywhere! Because it only takes a few minutes before the truth kicks in – 1) you can’t run from yourself and 2) You can’t run from the calling God has on your life. You can try but you will be more miserable than you were in the first place. Or the thoughts that sometimes really go through my mind – the tears I have shed over the baby I hear daily crying out of hunger and neglect. How I’ve yearned to keep him in my home and then the next day wanting to punch the guy in the face because he wants me to finance hair plugs.(Don’t worry – God hasn’t given up on me yet!)  Probably not appropriate to let you into all the craziness of my mind! Just being honest. But I do try to tell you of some of the struggles we face and pray that I also tell of the joys that far outnumber the struggles. My biggest struggle is the balance of daily facing the little problems, helping Christian with the projects and schooling and teaching Raelee and still sharing the gospel everyday. I try to do my venting in my journals or in posts that will never leave the draft folder. I vent to my dear friends that understand it is what it is, and one that grew up in a missionary family and can understand some of the struggles of living in a foreign culture. I keep some things out that are happening at the time so our parents don’t worry. My prayer is we don’t get so caught up in the daily grind that we forget to witness of the love of God to others. for them to know that the reason we are here, the reasoning behind every decision is that we show why – that God sent us here so that they can know His love and His Glory. That the gospel doesn’t get lost in the ministering to others.

Ministering that matters includes love and compassion, a listening ear, prayers , temporal and spiritual support, and teaching by the Spirit.

When Does Serving Stop And Enabling Begin?

Let me start by saying I love my life, I love the place I live and the people I live with. I love God and I love serving Him. I am humbled that He chose me to be a light and help to the people here. And even in the hard times here (which are far out weighed by the good times)there is still joy and many things to be grateful for. We are at seventeen months here and I still pinch myself sometimes because I can’t believe our wonderful, crazy life! But there are struggles and I think one of my biggest ones right now is that line between God’s command to love and serve others or enabling and spoiling others.

I know that so many of the cultural norms can’t be changed just because I wouldn’t do things the same. My ways are not necessarily the best way and their ways are not always the wrong way.  But because I try to live my life by the Word of God and His leading, and I am trying to point people to Him, there are things that I have to try to teach a different way of doing. The struggle right now is with parents who give up all responsibly to their children if we give any kind of assistance. A wise man once told me when I was trying to help a friend get out of the drug life, you hold your hand out so that they can pull themselves up, you don’t hold out your hand and pull them up. That’s what he did with me, and then helped me help myself. And I’ve always remembered that and try to do that with others. Help them to help themselves, give a helping hand but not a handout. It is extremely hard to do that here, and I pray I don’t get to the point that I don’t want to help anyone.

I’m tired, emotionally, of being appointed Mother to too many kids that have a parent who, because we want to HELP them, as soon as we do they totally wash their hands of all responsiblity. And when I try to teach them that this is not right, I offend them and cause hurt feelings. Friends of Mandate are paying for college for an exceptional young lady. Essentially I am just the executor of the money to get her through school. But her mother now won’t take any responsibility in any part of her life now. Even at the college filling out enrollment forms with the mother there, they insisted my and Christians names were put as the parents. I pushed back and said no but it caused major embarrassment and tears. So we did. I’m sure partly, the mother fears if there is financial problems they would come to her for the money, but we have denied them nothing financially. Ever. If there are calls for parents to meet with school officials it is now considered our responsibility, not the parents. Look, I raised two young men, I sacrificed time and energy and everything in me to help them succeed. I am raising a little girl now at my older age, like the saying goes “been there, done that” and really don’t want to do it again! I am not going to another parent\teacher conference lasting six hours, especially when I don’t understand a word of what’s being said!

Chris asked me once when I voiced my aggravation what service means to me. I do believe I was sent here to serve others but what good am I doing if I am perpetuating cultural values that are not beneficial to the culture. How do I help someone when that just leads to them becoming dependent on me? Its a problem here, shirking responsibility for your children, having too many to be able to care for. I cannot be a true mother to 18 kids when half of them actually have a parent. I will be a help to work with them to better their lives, get an education but just as they are unable to do all for their child, I can’t do it all either.

And put on top of that the headaches of raising teenagers. Definitely already lived through that! Trying to teach them that I am here to help them with their education, living expenses don’t include satellite TV and internet! Learning to be responsible for themselves. The two girls that are in college do very, very well with the money they get each month, usually having a little left over each month. The boy we are helping through high school hasn’t done so well with his money and we are working on that. He does not have any good influence and the half-brother he has is definitely not teaching him how to prioritize. The brother lost his job, comes to us begging for money for food yet makes sure his TV and internet stays on. I don’t have much sympathy in that situation – I know what it is like to scrape together grocery money and I can promise you when we went through those times we did not have TV, internet and I didn’t get to have my nails done! I do want better for them, but I want them to learn you have to start with the education and use that to go on to be successful – you don’t start out with all the “stuff” while borrowing money for food.

I never expected when moving here to be mother to so many, to be “Mama Raelee”, it has many joys but also the same pain and aggravation as raising our own kids. The seven orphan children don’t ever give us any problems, and lately their father has been doing what he can to help in feeding them and just being around. He married a woman who won’t have anything to do with the children, even though she lives there. But the next parent/teacher meeting, he WILL be the one going!

I still have one more of my own to raise. Never dreamed I would be this age and raising another child while being a grandmother! But she is such a gift from God and joy to our lives. That does not keep me from waking up in cold sweats thinking about her teenage years!

This morning we are waiting the arrival of the two hundred rabbits, so much excitement here with the workers. They are excited because the will get to see the fruition of the job they have been working so hard on the past month. They are very excited that they found out yesterday they will still be working for the next month or so on another building and plastering our building and the apartments. We have been very proud of them, they have all been giving a part of their pay every week towards medical – without us even asking. And a few have been giving us at least half of their pay to save up. Some want to get solar panels so they can have lights in their homes. We made a deal that when they save half we will match the other. They also pool a part of their money and give that to someone in need in the village. It is so awesome to see how they will work together to accomplish goals and to give part of what they have to help someone else. We have seen so much progress in them in the year and a half we have been here. Sometimes we wonder if we make any kind of difference, if we are a light that shines here for God’s Glory but in the past few months we have seen the fruit of things we have done. Little fruits, but fruit nonetheless, that we will feed and water and watch it grow.

I promise you there will be pictures of the rabbits when they get here – hope you have a very blessed day!

Just One Of Those Weeks

I started writing a post on Tuesday, it had already been a rough week for me, little did I know I had a couple more days to struggle through! I guess some of it has just been building up – we have been very busy with building and construction of the cages. We have had many workers on the grounds and a few new workers that probably won’t be working with us again. I won’t rant about that!

I struggle with balancing this culture and the culture we come from. I get aggravated that we are expected to have a mid-morning snack AND supply lunch, but then the voice of reason – not my husband – but the Holy Spirit whispers to my heart that these people may sometimes take advantage but they don’t have much of anything, they are working hard in the hot sun and what is it to us to spend what is probably equal to a few starbuck coffees a week to feed fifteen-twenty workers? I think that biggest part of the struggle for me this week is it has just seemed chaotic with all the extra people around. Every normal week I am ready to fire someone for not doing their job in the way I see fit and on those days the other voice of reason – my husband – talks me down from the edge! The Lord says:

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’ Deuteronomy 15:11

Yesterday was the first time I have really been disrespected by a man (or men) and it was a little traumatic for me. Probably more so because of the stress I already was feeling, but still disconcerting. I got to feel a little of what the women here feel, that they don’t matter. Christian has been sick for a few days, but we had to go to town to the bank and the Dr. The bank is usually his job, and most times he waits in line for thirty to forty-five minutes. If he has to go to the Enquiry desk it can take even longer. I told him I would go in since he wasn’t feeling well and I didn’t want him to have to stand for so long. First line I had been standing about fifteen minutes when five young guys cut in. Now, this is pretty normal for here, everyone thinks they are entitled to be first, no matter there are twenty other people who have been waiting, and since there is such a no confrontation “rule” no one stops this behavior. Christian says he sees the guys do it more to women than the men, and more so because I am a white woman. I let it go, went on to the next line where I stood for about twenty minutes and a guy walks up, gets in line in front of the lady before me. She says nothing. There are probably ten people behind me and that many in front of us, with two tellers taking care of people. Then a guy walks up and shoulders his way in front of me. You know me, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t stay silent, but I was not rude. I just looked him in the eye and said “I am in line” and he got behind me (still in front of all the others) and proceeded to rub up against my back and push me closer to the woman in front of me. I turned once and glared him down and he eased up a little. FINALLY I get out of the bank just to have to stand in the long line for the ATM. Again a guy tried to cut but I sidestepped him only to have him do the same thing but also throwing in a little elbow in my back a couple of times. With the heat and the stress, I was in tears by the time I got to the truck (after about an hour and a half of bank waiting). I feel for the women here, they do 99% of the hard work and still have no voice and little respect. There is a very big campaign going on in this country against abuse of women, especially domestic abuse here where it is okay for men to beat their wives – wives are their property. If I don’t cling to the Holy Spirit, the hard times, the times I feel disrespected and under-valued and see other women treated the same I will become angry and bitter. I will not be able to love the way God commands me to love. I will be no good for any one.

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” Romans 12:9

Raelee has had a hard time this week also, and most of it (this time) is not her fault entirely. I told our workers and our day guard a long time ago that they had to tell Raelee no sometimes, don’t let her run all over them. But they couldn’t do that, nobody wanted to tell her no, which makes our job harder because she comes in the house and says “Why isn’t dinner ready?” “Sophia didn’t do a very good job getting my clothes clean this time”. That is not acceptable behavior, she gets disciplined and really, it’s not all her fault if all day outside she is treated like the whole world revolves around her. So now, they have a monster on their hands, NOW they want to tell her no and she doesn’t like it so there have been dramatic bawling episodes because some one threw a rock and it landed somewhere near her. Someone told her no. Sophia teased her and told her she was going to take her doctor stuff home with her and we thought someone was killing her by the sounds of her wailing. She has become too spoiled by them and now they want it to change. The boys have been around a lot, and her buddy Zula isn’t as willing to play house or wear her tutus with the bigger boys around – they want to run and hang out without her. Which is fine, but go home to do that and don’t be mean to her. This is where she lives, her home and I won’t have any one being mean to her no matter how much of a pretty princess she thinks she is. That attitude has been cultivated by all the people around us, unwittingly I know, but nonetheless it has. The other night she was heartbroken because the boys wouldn’t do what she wanted them to do and we tried to explain that sometimes YOU have to do what someone else likes to do, that it can’t always be your way. And boys aren’t always going to want to play girly things. It’s fine when they are all riding bikes and such but not with the dolls. So I told her a little secret – do your own thing and don’t even acknowledge what they are doing and it won’t be long that they will come around to play. This is how she interpreted it. “Go outside, inform the boys that today I am playing on my own and ignoring you and you will want beg to play with me later.” No, not even close child! It is a struggle to balance discipline and letting her big personality develop with Christian being able to be an example to these fatherless boys. If I run them home once, they are likely to take it to heart and not come around at all. That is a huge challenge here, it’s all or nothing.

But so far (and it is Thursday) nobody has been fired, (scolded, but not fired)  Raelee is out playing contentedly on her own, Chris is on his feet and one more day until a quiet weekend since it is Christmas. They may not celebrate Christmas the way we do, but they definitely recognize it as a holiday. Sunday we will be celebrating Jesus’ birthday with the children that come and then plan on a quiet day together watching movies!

And in the end, even through all the struggles of this life….Love wins!

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”
1 John 4:7

“We love because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19

Happy Sunday!

Hope you have had a wonderful Sunday, a day of rest and a day to worship and praise our Lord!

We had an off day I guess you would say. Chris said the people in his bible study seemed like maybe they weren’t getting what he was saying. I told him not to worry about it, they were hearing God’s word and God says it will accomplish what he sent it out for. THEN I went to teach Sunday School and at the end of the story of the angel coming to Mary I asked a few questions and all I got was blank stares! There were over thirty little ones – under three, so it was loud, babies crying, Ms Betty moving them around. She is constantly moving kids from one place to another. And the older kids that were there I haven’t seen before and I think they were just there for food. They were rude to me as they left – didn’t even acknowledge when I said goodbye. But I had those words echoing in my mind that I had just said to Chris about his class! (Thank you God. Haha!) Some days are like that!

This week Raelee has been painting nails. I would say the women’s’ nails but I have seen a few guys around with green and blue pinky nails! She asked this morning if she could paint her friends nails and I said it was okay. About an hour later I walk outside and see women sitting at the picnic table. This is usually a sign someone has a problem and needs (or wants) something! They will sit there, watch us pass by doing this and that, and as soon as we go in or start on something – that is when they come! But as I got closer I saw that they were all painting their nails. Apparently Raelee had tired of it and she was in the barn helping her daddy! I had to run to keep from getting my nails glittered! The women had a ball doing each others nails, I think next time we go to Kampala we should get more polish! It seems the uglier the colors the more they like it! To each his own!

And these things we write to you that your joy may be full.  1 John 1:4

 

Sunday School

We had a great time in Sunday School this last Sunday in November. There are so many little ones that have been coming. Christian says it’s parents sending them so they have something to eat. That’s fine with me, they also get to hear the word of God and I believe it when He says In Isaiah 55:11

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

Every time the kids hear the Word, tiny seeds are planted that when watered over time will sprout and bloom. One day they will fully understand what God was telling them through these stories. I am so encouraged every time we come together at their understanding of the message of the stories. And their memory of the scripture verses is just so awesome, even the very little ones remember! I am thankful I have this opportunity to help bring children closer to Jesus – though it is one of the biggest challenges I face in my life. I have always felt so inadequate to work with children, feel like that is just not my gift and have had to fill the void because there was no one else to do it. But apparently God has a different view of it – or maybe it’s just a lesson in obedience! I love the children, but I also pray that with mentoring the teenagers, they will one day be able to do most of the service – they are able to minister in ways I can not because of the culture differences. But I know I will always have a part in it because my heart desires all of them to have a better life and to follow Jesus!

but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”    Matthew 19:14

The BS

The Bull Situation
There was a farmer had our bulls and Bogere was his name-o. A refusal here, an arrest warrant there and the bulls were brought back home-o….
To recap the first go round:
I want to say that with 30+ farmers, only 5 tried to cause trouble and when Christian went and confronted them, three ended up giving a portion. Their reasoning for not honoring their contract and trying to get us sent home is that we didn’t honor the contract by helping this second season. (Most farmers understood that it was our mistake – our misunderstanding of the seasons, but we would carry on with our agreement in March). Three farmers (including the ringleader) ended up giving some when they were confronted face to face. One ran away and didn’t even harvest his peanuts so they rotted in the field. And the one hold out is this guy. (Although all five are now out of the program.) He has made income plowing with our bulls in trade (we were told) for keeping them on his property. We have paid for the vet and Medicine when they were sick. They say hindsight is 20\20 but we had so many other things to deal with that we just let whatever had been going on previously to stand. But when he said he wasn’t going to give his half of his rice harvest, Christian told him the bulls had to come to our property. So started this stupid situation. Even after being arrested, he openly admitted to the police the first time that the bulls are Mandates. The bulls were returned and we thought that was the end.
Now I think it’s a matter of pride and embarrassment, he has pressed charges against us and the Chairman. He has four wives and 14+ offspring to support. He’s known to be a thief, his sons and own father have admitted it and have tried to get him to stop this. It’s not a matter of people disrespecting or denying our authority, it is one bad man who is desperate not to lose the moneymakers he’s had for 3+ years..

We got to learn first hand how the process works when there is a dispute. The police come to the place where the dispute is, and have a “court” procedure of sorts. Each side presents witnesses to the Chief of Police and another official. There were over one hundred people came as witnesses for Mandate. We didn’t ask them, when they found out what was going on they all volunteered to come. The accuser did not show, nor did he have any witnesses to stand with him. The best he could find was a man from another village and the police said he could not be heard anyway. The Chairman called Bogere and his excuse was he was at the police station talking to the police. He was demanded to get here and said he was on his way. While we were waiting, the Chairman (who you know is an elected official) took the two officials on a tour of the village to show the wells that Mandate has dug, the solar at the Maternity Ward and around our land. The accused never showed so the “program” began with a prayer from one of the farmers. (Praise the Lord!) Around ten-eleven people stood and bore witness to the help Mandate has brought to their community. What was so encouraging and humbling were ones that we didn’t know but had helped someone in their family, and it wasn’t even monetary help. It was praying with them when a loved one was sick, giving a ride to Kimuli’s dad when no Ugandan would because of the smell of his leg. The widow that cooks the Mandaze every week for the children at Sunday School told how much we have helped her by buying her sweet biscuits! She no longer has to walk all day through the village trying to sell them one by one. Another widow, Ms Betty gave witness that I buy mats from her so that she can eat. (Personally, we think if we just gave Ms Betty a chance at this guy she would straighten everything out! Haha!)

The Chief stopped the witnessing, he had gotten a pretty clear picture of our side, and he said that Bogere should have a chance at speaking. (I’m going to leave to your imagination our reaction to that!) There will be another date set, he will now get the summons to appear. If he skips it the matter will be dissolved and it will be over. Even if he appears, I believe in the officials minds the case is already decided.

God’s Word says in Genesis 50:20:

 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive…

We saw how true this is yesterday. The police Chief stood before the people and told them that they had to be saved, in their hearts, to keep them from sinning. To keep them from thieving, lying and hurting others. He told them that instead of looking at what they can get today, to look to their future, at their children and grandchildren’s futures. What happens when we are driven out? What happens when this crop is harvested today and sold tomorrow? Where will you be then? He told them that in six years he is retiring and already he is making plans for his future retirement so that he won’t suffer, his children and grandchildren won’t suffer. He told them there should be no poverty here like there is if they would only be saved and look toward their future and not live for just today and how they can get whatever they can get. We were pretty blown away after he spoke, and thankful to Our Father for the many Saints that have been lifting us up in prayer. Though this situation hasn’t worried us, even at the point where Christian was prepared to go to jail rather than give this guy the bulls back, it has been an annoyance. That puts stress on a body! And it has taken us away from work to be done. Even if ninety-nine people went home and ignored every word he said, I believe that the one that ponders his words will be saved. Of the other ninety-nine seeds were planted, and by someone who is in their eyes a great authority. In Isaiah 55:11, the Lord says:

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

God is in control, ALWAYS, and He has used this situation to strengthen us, strengthened our standing in this community and now in the city. We now have a friend in the Chief of Police! He has brought many people together, and we had a chance to meet many people in the village who now are able to see that we mean to help them. Do I think this ends the dealings with the devil who is behind everything? No, but as each situation arises, as each one strengthens our faith and our resolve, it makes it harder for the devil to succeed in each. It weakens his power over this village, over each person that hears God’s Word.

To be continued……?!

The two widows

Heartbreak And Hopelessness

This week has been a great story week, Raelee has kept us and many readers of Facebook entertained. Today was no exception but with a sad reason.

Raelee went outside. Usually we hear her playing, if there are other kids she is screaming constantly. If there’s no kids she is usually singing at the top of her lungs or running around yelling “Elsa come back”. When all is quiet for 20 minutes I go looking. Today she was at the guardhouse with Sharifu. (He usually knows exactly where she is!) I see her shut the door of the guardhouse and then open it saying ” Well, that didn’t work” She goes in and comes out with a screaming baby. “Why is that baby here?” “He walked here” (he’s barely a year old). “Take him home” He lives next to us so she took him home but his mama wasn’t even there. Raelee left him with their neighbor. I asked her later what was the purpose of shutting him in the guardhouse and she explained she was laying him down for a nap. I told her that we, nor our guards are a babysitting service and the babies have to be taken home. There are two women, the neighbors who will come to get water and leave their babies. One of the women we have had that problem with her many times. He is always crying and our Dr says he is malnourished. We and others from the village have talked to them about the importance of feeding their baby. Now, she is pregnant again. Even though we got a laugh about her shutting the baby in the guardhouse trying to placate him, it is heartbreaking to hear babies cry all day and all night because they are hungry. And I’d like to feed them but that’s not teaching them to take care of their own. If we fed them once, we would be expected to feed the whole family everyday. If it were up to Raelee and I, we would keep the babies!

Over two million children in Uganda under the age of five are chronically malnourished. It is the cause of nearly 60% of infant deaths and 30% of the death of mothers.

Malnutrition is caused by vitamin and iron deficiency in their diets. It is extremely hard to understand when I look around this beautiful green country that people die from malnourishment. Our Doctor here told us that if the baby I described above could have one egg a day he wouldn’t be sick all the time. The family has chickens but I think they are kept and eggs probably sold for school fees, and/or less expensive but not as nutritious foods… I think a big part is not being educated about what is good for the babies. One mother has given Raelee the porridge that she (and others) feed their children. It is basically corn flour mixed with water – not big on nourishment. One of our workers who is also Vice-Chairman of the district is involved with a program that is trying to educate pregnant women and mothers about what it takes to keep their children healthy and clean. Educating them that getting dirty water out of a ditch does not constitute good hygene. Because the world you and I have been raised in has been so blessed, we take for granted and don’t realize there are people in this world have to be educated on the basic neccessities of everyday life. Granted, when you only have dirty water to wash in what else are you to do? And when your grandparents taught your parents in a time that there was rarely clean water, you are just doing what has been handed down. That is one reason The Mandate is so appreciated here is because of the bore holes (wells) that have been drilled every six months, bringing water to all parts of the village.

Christian and I have been researching and praying on what we can do as God’s hands and feet to reach out and make a difference that is lasting, that doesn’t make people dependent on us but to help them with dignity to be able to care for themselves and families. There is such poverty and struggle here that is it rare for community  to reach out to their neighbor because they are barely surviving. We have found a couple of groups in and around Kampala that have been overseeing projects such as our farming project and we have contacted them to ask their advice on the things that have worked or not worked for them. There are a few things that we see helping, with very little cost to us but great impact on the community. The key is training and teaching rather than giving freely. Giving would be much easier but wouldn’t help anyone in the long run. As the old phrase says

“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; show him how to catch a fish, and you feed him for a lifetime”

That is a big problem with many organizations who want to help – and are honestly well meaning – but actually end up hurting because once the organization or the money is gone then people are more likely to be worse off than before.

We have found in our year here that what God is showing us is to walk with our community, have relationship with people and live out His truths. Be honest and have a realistic picture of what we can do and what we shouldn’t do – especially if we don’t have His leading in it. We came here with no experience and no personal vision on what to do to help, but as God leads us everyday, more of the picture of His plan develops before our eyes. We have seen so much gratefulness in the farmers with this project, even though we have made mistakes and have learned along the way;; even though these same farmers have grown crops before, getting the good seed and fertilizer has made a difference in their crops. We have seen one farmer who had the best harvest now looked to for advice on what he did to achieve that. We’ve had opportunity to pray with them and give testimony that everything we do is not of ourselves or our organization but because of God’s plan for this village.

The year has plenty of ups and downs, tears and laughter but we have grown through the many trials and joys. I don’t think we would change any of it even if we could, knowing this is where God put us and He has plans not only for the community but for us also. We joke at times that we feel we are actually here because of Raelee, but I don’t doubt it. The joy that she has brought to the people here, and the example of unconditional love she has shown for everyone has probably made more of an impact than anything Christian and I could do. She isn’t shy about making friends or telling about the love of Jesus and because of that many seeds are planted for a great harvest.

We don’t know what this next year will bring, I’m sure many more surprises, twists and turns! But I also know God will bring us through richer than when we started!

The Struggle With Forgiveness

Last week Christian preached on forgiveness. Hmmm, seems like a pattern since we moved to Uganda! I have admitted it is something I struggle with, and “love your neighbor as yourself”, it is hard to love my neighbor as myself when often times I don’t even like myself. What does that look like? Does that mean every time I see someone I have to hug and kiss them and tell them how much I love them? (Eewww and awkward) There are plenty of people who I would run away from rather than even bless them with my smile. (Mean, I know – remember I am a work in progress and I try to be honest about that.) But is it love if I saw my enemy in the ditch dying I would definitely help him out? Is that enough? Can I forgive the wrongs against me AND separate them from my life? I’m not lying when I say, I struggle with this a lot. Especially here, especially in a culture I don’t understand, probably never will, and being held apart and judged by the color of my skin. (Ironic isn’t it?!)

God never fails to amaze me, you probably think that maybe my faith isn’t what it should be if I am constantly amazed by God. But that is why my faith is so strong – He is always showing His love and care for me in amazing ways. When Christian preached this sermon, we had no idea what was about to happen in our lives. I know it sounds dramatic, but try to imagine being in our situation – everyday is a lesson and learning those lessons alone, being outnumbered can be a constant stress. But God has His way of encouraging us – even before we know how much we are going to need it.

Forgiveness.

ephesians

God has forgiven us of all our sins but there is a condition put on that forgiveness – Colossians 3:13 basically says our forgiveness should be the same as God’s forgiveness. How did Christ forgive? What is forgiveness? To forgive others I must remember how He forgave my wickedness, and see them through Christ’s eyes. Not hold their sins against them.

example

Matthew 6 says “Forgive me as I forgive others.” If I don’t forgive – God won’t forgive me. Now, this doesn’t affect our salvation but our relationship with Him won’t be as it should be. It is about

example

When someone offends me, I am to put it into His hands and He will take care of them. When I hold on to these things, it is because of pride – it isn’t about me. They are doing wrong to God, because I belong to Him. Help me to be like You, help me to forgive as you have forgiven me. What if God hadn’t forgive me? Where would I be now?

unforgiveness

Bitterness festers and causes me to sin, enslaves me but forgiveness looses me the most for I’m the one bound. It’s about compassion – putting myself in their shoes as God showed compassion to me. God has forgiven me because of Christ’s sacrifice for me. When I consider how many times Christ has shown mercy on me I have to pray “Help me have Your mercy for others”.

Now, this is what the message was last Sunday, just before we got information on a big, big problem we are getting ready to face. And to get through this situation it is going to require God’s mercy and grace through us to not make it worse. And to be honest, there is a person I don’t want to show mercy too. I told Christian that I don’t want to have anything to do with him. But, since I am to love, then I would save him from the ditch. But, my husband asked me if I thought he was dying and going to hell would I walk across the street and minister to him? Hmmm. Why must he always be a preacher?! But it did make me think about it. And to be honest, right now, I’m not sure I could do it because I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t receive it. There is going to be people hurt, people confused, and people upset with us. Why? Because one person can’t forgive. Bitterness has taken such a hold in his heart, he will manipulate innocent, naive people to lash out. I do have pity, I do feel sad for him but I am not perfect. I don’t always have control of my mouth, especially when people are taken advantage of. And so, as the saying goes “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. For now I will do my best to not make a bad situation worse. But I know God is working things out on our side, but also on all the other sides. Maybe for me it is to strengthen my character, and grow my faith. For others it may be a hard lesson in listening to wise counsel vs. ungodly counsel. And I know that the one holding bitterness will never have peace until he is able to forgive the wrongs he believes has been done to him.

It is always the same, when everything seems to be looking up, we see God working in mighty ways that the devil wants to tear it all down. It starts with one thing and quickly multiplies. We have been hit from all sides this week – health, our growing church and the hurt of feeling betrayed.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.  James 5:16

Pray for us this week, Monday will be a rough day. Pray for wisdom – the wisdom in decision making, wisdom in our conversations and the wisdom to know how God wants us to handle things. Pray for God’s Will to be done, not our own. Pray for the farmers, their crops and the harvest. Let nothing hinder all of the hard work they have put into this endeavor, and they will come to recognize God has a plan for each one of them.  Pray we have peace and understanding of the plan God has for us personally and for this village. Let us praise Him and seek His kingdom above all things and that He gets the Glory through it all. I leave you with this video about prayer. We know we are helpless but we know the One who is the helper and we know we don’t have to be afraid of what may come. Pray and He will answer. Always.

Sunday School

Sunday the children took a day off from stories so that they could make thank-you cards for all the ladies that made the dolls they received on Easter. There have been quite a few asking to write letters or cards to thank them because the dolls meant a great deal to them. It was a slow process for some, they didn’t all get finished in the morning so they will be finishing them up next Sunday and we will be taking pictures (hopefully) of each child with their letter. When a team from the States comes to visit, we will be sending them back to the ladies of Good Hope Church in Anacoco so that they can be blessed to know how much their time and caring effort meant to the kids!