Category: Uncategorized

I Don’t Want To Be A Doctor

It’s amazing how our words can effect children, even when we think we are complimenting, encouraging, and building them up. I often tell people when they see Raelee loving on babies or baby animals that I think she would one day be a great pediatrician or veterinarian, not that I am putting my own goals on her, just that I see that potential because of her love for babies and animals. Not long ago she came to me bawling and said her heart was broken. I pulled her into my lap and asked her why her heart was broken. “I don’t want to be a doctor or a veterinarian!” I told her that she doesn’t have to be either one and she explained that she thought that is what she has to be when she grows up because that is what I tell people. I explained to her that I only say that because I see how much she loves babies and animals but she can be anything she wants to be when she grows up. “I really can? All I really want to be is a mother.” I told her that was a very good thing to want and she would be an awesome mother! So, she went on that day and soon she became a police officer, the day after she was a detective and after that she was a doctor/detective!

I know that words can hurt but I didn’t realize how serious she took my words, and that instead of encouraging her it put pressure on a six year old that didn’t need to be there. So, I won’t say that anymore, I will find other ways to compliment her to others and keep encouraging all the many occupational changes she makes before she decided on her own what she will be when she grows up!

Finally, got to hold a baby goat!

Heartbreak And Hopelessness

This week has been a great story week, Raelee has kept us and many readers of Facebook entertained. Today was no exception but with a sad reason.

Raelee went outside. Usually we hear her playing, if there are other kids she is screaming constantly. If there’s no kids she is usually singing at the top of her lungs or running around yelling “Elsa come back”. When all is quiet for 20 minutes I go looking. Today she was at the guardhouse with Sharifu. (He usually knows exactly where she is!) I see her shut the door of the guardhouse and then open it saying ” Well, that didn’t work” She goes in and comes out with a screaming baby. “Why is that baby here?” “He walked here” (he’s barely a year old). “Take him home” He lives next to us so she took him home but his mama wasn’t even there. Raelee left him with their neighbor. I asked her later what was the purpose of shutting him in the guardhouse and she explained she was laying him down for a nap. I told her that we, nor our guards are a babysitting service and the babies have to be taken home. There are two women, the neighbors who will come to get water and leave their babies. One of the women we have had that problem with her many times. He is always crying and our Dr says he is malnourished. We and others from the village have talked to them about the importance of feeding their baby. Now, she is pregnant again. Even though we got a laugh about her shutting the baby in the guardhouse trying to placate him, it is heartbreaking to hear babies cry all day and all night because they are hungry. And I’d like to feed them but that’s not teaching them to take care of their own. If we fed them once, we would be expected to feed the whole family everyday. If it were up to Raelee and I, we would keep the babies!

Over two million children in Uganda under the age of five are chronically malnourished. It is the cause of nearly 60% of infant deaths and 30% of the death of mothers.

Malnutrition is caused by vitamin and iron deficiency in their diets. It is extremely hard to understand when I look around this beautiful green country that people die from malnourishment. Our Doctor here told us that if the baby I described above could have one egg a day he wouldn’t be sick all the time. The family has chickens but I think they are kept and eggs probably sold for school fees, and/or less expensive but not as nutritious foods… I think a big part is not being educated about what is good for the babies. One mother has given Raelee the porridge that she (and others) feed their children. It is basically corn flour mixed with water – not big on nourishment. One of our workers who is also Vice-Chairman of the district is involved with a program that is trying to educate pregnant women and mothers about what it takes to keep their children healthy and clean. Educating them that getting dirty water out of a ditch does not constitute good hygene. Because the world you and I have been raised in has been so blessed, we take for granted and don’t realize there are people in this world have to be educated on the basic neccessities of everyday life. Granted, when you only have dirty water to wash in what else are you to do? And when your grandparents taught your parents in a time that there was rarely clean water, you are just doing what has been handed down. That is one reason The Mandate is so appreciated here is because of the bore holes (wells) that have been drilled every six months, bringing water to all parts of the village.

Christian and I have been researching and praying on what we can do as God’s hands and feet to reach out and make a difference that is lasting, that doesn’t make people dependent on us but to help them with dignity to be able to care for themselves and families. There is such poverty and struggle here that is it rare for community  to reach out to their neighbor because they are barely surviving. We have found a couple of groups in and around Kampala that have been overseeing projects such as our farming project and we have contacted them to ask their advice on the things that have worked or not worked for them. There are a few things that we see helping, with very little cost to us but great impact on the community. The key is training and teaching rather than giving freely. Giving would be much easier but wouldn’t help anyone in the long run. As the old phrase says

“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; show him how to catch a fish, and you feed him for a lifetime”

That is a big problem with many organizations who want to help – and are honestly well meaning – but actually end up hurting because once the organization or the money is gone then people are more likely to be worse off than before.

We have found in our year here that what God is showing us is to walk with our community, have relationship with people and live out His truths. Be honest and have a realistic picture of what we can do and what we shouldn’t do – especially if we don’t have His leading in it. We came here with no experience and no personal vision on what to do to help, but as God leads us everyday, more of the picture of His plan develops before our eyes. We have seen so much gratefulness in the farmers with this project, even though we have made mistakes and have learned along the way;; even though these same farmers have grown crops before, getting the good seed and fertilizer has made a difference in their crops. We have seen one farmer who had the best harvest now looked to for advice on what he did to achieve that. We’ve had opportunity to pray with them and give testimony that everything we do is not of ourselves or our organization but because of God’s plan for this village.

The year has plenty of ups and downs, tears and laughter but we have grown through the many trials and joys. I don’t think we would change any of it even if we could, knowing this is where God put us and He has plans not only for the community but for us also. We joke at times that we feel we are actually here because of Raelee, but I don’t doubt it. The joy that she has brought to the people here, and the example of unconditional love she has shown for everyone has probably made more of an impact than anything Christian and I could do. She isn’t shy about making friends or telling about the love of Jesus and because of that many seeds are planted for a great harvest.

We don’t know what this next year will bring, I’m sure many more surprises, twists and turns! But I also know God will bring us through richer than when we started!

Buying A Wife

 

Sharifu (our day-guard) came to us last week with Kimuli. “This one has a problem” he said. We asked what the problem was. Well. Kimuli is now twenty and has decided he wants a wife – actually what was said was “He wants to buy a wife”. He is one of our best workers despite what the previous couple told us. They told us he was useless and their kids weren’t allowed around him. He barely spoke any English, really only about two words until Raelee came along and decided he was her best friend. He was our day guard, but he worked harder than any of the others on the grounds so we promoted him. Having Raelee around, he has learned more and more English and keeps a close eye on her and Smokey every day. He and Sharifu are like sons to us and big brothers to Raelee.

So when he came to us with the “problem” we asked what is involved in buying a wife. Sharifu and Derrick explained to us that the man/boy goes to the intended woman/girl’s parents and asks for permission to take her as his wife. They negotiate on what he has to give them to get this permission. Sometimes it may take the future groom months even years to acqure the expected selling price!  Kimuli had collected 300,000 shillings from friends but he was short 200,000 so that he could offer 500,000. Half a million shillings is more than most people see in a year, some never see that much at once. He was asking us for the remaining 200,000. He would go to the town they live in and offer this and ask if they would accept it and agree to his marrying their daughter. We contributed to his fund even though it is hard to understand having to beg and borrow money so that one can marry. If you have to do this just to buy the wife, what about taking care of the wife? And I wonder if he is really ready to be married buy he is considered old here and it goes against the culture for him to be single. Plus, in this culture, if you have money you are expected to give it to anyone that asks, it is very rude not to. This is why so many put their money into chickens and goats – no cash means not having to give it out. Kimuli is the oldest in his family (at least the oldest to one mother – his dad has two wives) and his father is the one that had his leg amputated. So, both wives, father and siblings expect him to support him and buy whatever they need and want. If he marries then they will stop expecting him to support them because now he will have to support his wife and the children that come.

He went to the parents and they accepted the 500,000 shillings but also agreed on a number of chickens and goats. Also gomez for the mother of the bride and sisters and possibly Aunts. (the gomez is the traditional dress and still used for celebrations. They range from 25,000-30,000 and up, depending on the cost of the fabric chosen. Then they are made by a seamstress. Now Kimuli is 178,000 short! When he comes up with that money he will have bought his bride to be! Then the “meetings” will start in the village with the list of things needed for the reception here. I imagine that the actual marriage ceremony will happen at the girl’s parents home. There will be meetings until the total of the list of items has been met. I guess we won’t know when the actual wedding will be until he has finished paying off the 178,000! He has a houseWP_20151020_003 he built and is trying to get a bathroom built before he marries. He wants to be prepared! And I know Raelee will be as thrilled as anyone when he and his wife do start having babies!
Sharifu, on the other hand, is definitely old to be single – he is twenty-two but has no plans to marry just because it is expected. We know the pressure on him is great to be married and try to encourage him in his decision to wait until he is ready and has someone he loves. I’m not saying Kimuli doesn’t love his girl but in most marriages here love has nothing to do with it. It’s crazy to us, especially when we see the struggle to take care of multiple wives and so many children, to find it so common for boys and girls barely into their teens marrying. Girls are married off as young as twelve just so the parents no longer have to take care of her. And exceptionally scary to be raising a daughter in this culture whose life goal is to be a wife and mother! Right now she would love to know that it is possible to be married at twelve!

I will keep you up to date on the progress of this endeavor as it goes along!

**When talking about giving livestock for marriage, my husband told them that I am a ten cow bride! They thought that was pretty impressive! Haha!

Two Weeks

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold.” – Psalm 46:1-3,7 

We’ve been back home for two weeks now, and it’s been a little rough going but I believe the break we had strengthened our resolve to stand firm and wait on God. And able to hold on to God’s promise to never leave us or forsake us.

There has been much trouble made by the man that we replaced. Even though he resigned he held bitterness and jealousy and it has festered and grown in his heart. Although he has tried to cause trouble and damage our name and our organizations name, God has surrounded us and protected us against the rumors and confusion that has been set against us. He has been our refuge and help. And though it would be easy to hate the person, we know the battle is not flesh and blood.and what the devil meant for evil has only strengthened our faith and our standing in the community. I pray that he can put his focus back on God and his heart be healed. Actions speak louder than words they say and that is especially true here. Even though this man tried to make us believe the people here are stupid, we have found that is far from the truth. People know when they are being disparaged and looked down on. It has been amazing to see what God’s love through us has done as far as relationships and changes we have seen in their hearts and character. To show respect and see one’s dignity restored is an awesome thing. And even though it may be a few at a time it has already begun a change in their community. I pray that we do everything we can as we work here to always point them to The One that has made it possible for us to love and walk beside them. Because of the hatred against us by one man,  a select few tried to rally the village to demonstrate and send us back to the States, the majority of the community stood behind us. And the root of all these human attacks has been removed and went back to the States. Praise God, this battle that has gone on for a year is over. And I believe that huge henderance being removed will allow so much more growth.

But there have been a few loose ends because of the last ditch efforts to discredit us. A few farmers were pressured not to honor their contracts. But when they came face to face with us they gave in. Cheated us, but also learned that Christian is not a man that will just lie down and take dishonesty.

Our bulls were stolen by a farmer that had been housing them. When he wouldn’t give his rice (still hasn’t) he was told to give them back but refused because he had been making money off of them. It ended with his arrest and the return of our bulls. What the devil meant to use to discourage us and cause confusion and anger with the village, again only strengthened our standing here.

Our truck has given us problems since two days after we got home, but with much prayer and Christian’s knowledge of vehicles and unwillingness to give up I believe he has found the problem and with the part fixed we pray tomorrow it will run again! Pray for it to be up and running!

We pray and believe that now we have a clean slate, after a year we have proven to be honest, have the best interest of the people here at heart and follow the teaching of Jesus Christ. It hasn’t been easy but this year has strengthened us physically and spiritually.

Now you are up to date with what we have been doing since we came home! Continue to pray for us daily, we know there will be many new challenges that we will face, but with God beside us who can stand against us?

Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies;
    make your way straight before me.9 For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction; their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue. 10 Make them bear their guilt, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out, for they have rebelled against you. 11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. 12 For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield.     Psalm 5:8-12

Prayer

Please pray for all Americans in this country and for all the people here.
The Embassy has cautioned Americans to take extra precautions when out because of demonstrations against the US following the shooting in California. It is kind of hard to understand considering the man had a criminal record and this country wouldn’t even let him return here. Nevertheless, there has been unrest over the situation.
The other situation is the return of the opponent in the Presidential elections that has been charged with treason. Most of the controversy and demonstrations over this will be in Kampala and caution is called for next week if traveling there. We don’t plan on that.
So, extra prayers would be appreciated. We are getting back into the swing of things and have faced opposition of our own here. We know God is in control and just as we have prayed since we arrived here, he continues to remove hindrances to His plan for our village.
Mostly all of our crops are in and we look forward to the time that we and the farmers will be able to sell. It is stressful and exciting at the same time with this being our first big project!
My verse for today is Matthew 5:11-12;
“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil again you because of Me”
All week my devotions and daily verses have pointed to the hope that comes from knowing God has a plan and though there may be struggles and trials, He will make a way. We must just stand firm, keep our eyes on Him and look forward to what is on the other side.

Home

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We made it back to Uganda! After 24 hours of travel, including 8 hours in the middle of the night in Dubai airport (can you say MISERABLE?) we made it back. Checked into hotel near the airport for the night…this pic is 10 minutes after we got in the room!
We will be headed back him this morning to our welcoming committee. Pray with us that they will let us have a little rest!
I will admit I cried the entire 24 hours and at one point feared we may get removed from a plane, but once we were here I felt like we were home. Haven’t cried now in 18 hours so that is a good sign. I will definitely miss our family but was so good to have the time with the little ones, their personalities as they grow is something I feel we miss out on the most. I’m afraid we will have some food withdrawal though and there’s not much we can do about that!
Raelee is ready to get home to Smokey and get our puppies back this week. Hopefully get settled back into our life here. It was definitely good to step back and gain some perspective on our life here!

Day At The Beach

Yesterday we went to the beach. Have to say Greek people are not self conscious about body image. Very interesting, terrifying and traumatizing! There were many more over 50 crowd letting it all hang out than any other age group!
The kids had a blast and we are hoping to go back today, if it doesn’t rain. We only have three full days left, we leave on Thursday. All of this time I thought we were leaving Friday until last night Daniel informs me our plane leaves Thursday. So, instead of being sad I am going to make the best of the days we have left!

Dinner Out

We had promised a movie at the theater only to find the night before that all the English speaking movies were replaced with Greek speaking movies! I panicked but the kids took it well when we told them we would still go for hot dogs and ice cream and then watch a movie at home…in our PJ’s with popcorn!
We had a lot of fun with them, they are two very funny, very smart kids. And they and Raelee get along very well considering…her bossiness! They have held their own pretty good!
We were walking down the street, all holding hands and Chris turned to me and said “Would you have ever believed we would be in Greece walking down the street with our Grandkids, with one of our own the same age?” God is good!

Play Play Play

We got to go with the kids to a pretty cool place, a little like Sci-port, that is a hands-on kind of learning center. It was a big house that was turned into a multi-room play area. We started in the construction room and after a bit we moved into the market area. I think they liked it the best, it was pretty cool. It had a bakery, a butcher, produce area, dairy and fish market. It also had a checkout area with cash register and money! Next door to it was a dining room/kitchen where there was a lot of cooking and serving going on. Amos was very serious in his cooking, Raelee and Lydia liked setting the table and cooking. I think they all took turns washing the dishes. The place started to fill with more and more kids so we (especially Grandma) decided it was time to leave, and we would try to come back another morning to explore the rest of the rooms!

I think with these pictures I am now caught up with the time Nic and Liz were here! It’s hard to sit down and re-size pictures and post when I would rather be playing with these amazing kids! But there is a little more time with them in school and Daniel back at work!